Just when you thought that family caregiving couldn’t get more complicated… but upon arriving home for the holidays you spot several concerns that leave you worrying more about Mom and Dad. When this happens, you may be left wondering what to do. How do you begin to talk with your elderly mom about getting more help? When do you discuss with your dad giving up the car keys? What do you say to your brothers and sisters when you’re stuck with all the caregiving and you can’t count on your siblings to assist? When you’re a family caregiver, the list of possible caregiver questions and issues is endless.

But everyone is home for the holidays; they are the best time to assess if an older adult needs help. But take care not to ruin the fun or cause a family fight.

Don’t get into the topic when everyone is at the dinner table nor when they may have had too much holiday wine, advises Gail Hunt, President and CEO of the U.S.’s National Alliance for Caregiving.

“When talking with your siblings about your concerns for Mom and Dad, go out to lunch to have that discussion rather than right in the middle of the family festivities. Then approach a parent in a non-threatening way. Perhaps you’re in the kitchen making pies with Mom. You might ask, ‘I saw those bills on the dresser. Is there something I can do to help?’”

The following informational tool has been developed by Home Instead Senior Care for adults who have parents over the age of 70. We invite you to complete this quiz to determine the quality of your parental conversations. After you answer the following 15 questions, you will receive an assessment of your conversational relationship with your parents, along with resources and tips that can help you talk to your aging parents. This assessment is intended for educational purposes only and should not be interpreted as a recommendation for a specific course of action: Communication Assessment.

Remember when talking with your siblings about your concerns for Mom and Dad, go out to lunch to have that discussion rather than right in the middle of the family festivities. Then approach a parent in a non-threatening way. Perhaps you’re in the kitchen making pies with Mom. You might ask, ‘I saw those bills on the dresser. Is there something I can do to help?’”

Need help getting these important conversations off the ground, visit our Conversations Starters page for more information.

Home Care Boston providing elderly services in Cambridge, Boston, and Somerville. Call us at 617.557.4600.

The 50/50 Rule: Solving Family Conflict programs and practical support services are offered to develop open discussions between adult siblings in an effort to help them improve communication skills, develop teamwork, make decisions together and divide the workload in caring for aging parents. Check out these tips on how to share the care.

Sharing the Care Plans

As adults, you and your siblings might not feel you have much to talk about anymore. But whether you’re still close or if you’ve grown apart, you still have at least one common bond. That’s the planning for care of your elderly mom and dad.

No matter what you family relationships are like, an aging care plan represents uncharted waters for most families. Who takes care of Mom and Dad, and where? Do you seek outside support or try to do it all yourselves? What do you do when you can’t agree or when someone feels left out? Who takes charge when your parent is ill or even dying?

The 50-50 Rule℠ program offers strategies for overcoming sibling differences to help families provide the best care for elderly parents.

At the core of the 50-50 Rule public education program is a family relationship and communication guide of real-life situations that features practical advice from the Home Instead Senior Care network and sibling relationships expert, Ingrid Connidis, Ph.D., of the University of Western Ontario.

Research suggests that siblings don’t want to harm their relationships with each other. That’s why the 50-50 Rule program will help facilitate communication in relationships with brothers and sisters who want to make the most of their parents’ senior years and their own caregiving journey.

Get your free copy of the 50/50 Rule Guide.

Home Care Boston providing elderly services in Cambridge, Boston, and Somerville. Call us at 617.557.4600.

It’s the holidays and time to break all the rules when it comes to eating, right? That philosophy isn’t healthy for anyone, especially for seniors, who may already be suffering from poor nutrition.

Holidays are a great time to encourage family caregivers to check their senior loved ones for the signs of poor nutrition. Consider the top signs:

Loss of appetite: If a senior has always been a hearty eater but no longer eats as he or she used to, it’s time to find out why. Underlying illness could be the root cause.

Little to no interest in eating out: If a loved one has always enjoyed a favorite restaurant, but no longer shows interest, dig deeper to determine the problem.

Sudden weight fluctuation: A weight change – losing or gaining 10 pounds in six months – is another sign that something could be amiss.

You’ll learn more about nutrition from the educational video series on CaregiverStress.com. And remember, holiday meals don’t need to be boring.

To learn about other challenges senior loved ones could be facing, join us for a free Home for the Holidays web conference moderated by a representative from the Home Instead Senior Care® network, and co-sponsored by the National Family Caregivers Association and the National Alliance for Caregiving.

Learn more about the web conference, offered on Dec. 5 by clicking here Family Education.

Home Care Boston providing elderly services in Cambridge, Boston, and Somerville. Call us at 617.557.4600.

If you come home to visit you parents and find their house dark and dreary during the festive holiday season, it could be a sign they are no longer up to the holiday decorating they once enjoyed. Encourage your parents to decorate by helping them add color and light to their homes for the holidays. Here are a few ideas to help make their season festive:

Help a senior find and unpack their decorations, or ask to do it on your own. Perhaps that’s a task that they dread tackling by themselves.

Ask your loved one which decorations are most significant to them, and how and where they should be displayed.

Maybe your senior would like to shop for one more decoration to add to his or her collection. You could add to a continuing tradition, such as a new angel ornament for the tree.

Offer to photograph this year’s holiday display, not only to hold a memory for weeks after the holidays, but to remember exactly where everything needs to go next year.

Decorations could tie in with a tradition of holiday foods. Perhaps it’s appropriate to prepare a special dish that’ll complement a table display. Share others’ recipes and stories from the Homemade Memories Cookbook at www.mealsandcompanionship.com.

If your parents need extra help to make the holidays special, Home Instead CAREGivers are easily available to make the holidays more enjoyable for loved ones. Call 617.557.4600 to learn more.

Home Care Boston providing elderly services in Cambridge, Boston, and Somerville. Call us at 617.557.4600.

Assessment Shows Health System Needs Improvement

Room for improvement – that’s the Commonwealth Fund’s assessment of the U.S. healthcare system. The National Scorecard on U.S. Health-System Performance, 2011 indicates sub-optimal performance in the following critical aging-related care areas:

Patient hospitalizations from nursing homes and hospital re-admissions of Medicare patients

The Scorecard compares U.S. average performance with benchmarks drawn from the top 10 percent of U.S. states, regions, health plans, and hospitals or other providers, as well as from the top-performing countries. The report provides further evidence that home care is important to older adults who are ill or recovering from surgery or poor health.

Performance compared with benchmarks improved on less than half of the indicators assessed since the first Scorecard. The 2011 Scorecard finds that the U.S. as a whole scores only 64, compared with 67 in 2006 and 65 in 2008 – well below the benchmark. National rates for three of five (58%) Scorecard indicators worsened or failed to substantially improve. As observed in the 2006 and 2008 National Scorecards, the bottom-performing group of hospitals, health plans, or geographic regions typically performs well below average, with as much as a fourfold spread between the top and bottom rates.

We hope that by sharing these results will help illustrate why home care is such a vital need in today’s health care climate. Please give us a call to learn how we can help your loved one rehabilitate from a hospital visit – (617)557.4600.

For more information about this study, visit http://www.commonwealthfund.org/Publications/Fund-Reports/2011/Oct/Why-Not-the-Best-2011.aspx?page=2.

Home Care Boston providing elderly services in Cambridge, Boston, and Somerville. Call us at (617)557.4600.

It’s no surprise that food often takes center stage at family gatherings. Perhaps it is Aunt Marie’s famous meatballs that have graced the family dinner table for 40 years. Or maybe Mom’s apple strudel recipe evokes wonderful memories.

For Laurie Lufkin, it was Grandma Mimi’s clam cakes. Lufkin is the grand prize winner of the Homemade Memories Recipe Contest, sponsored by Home Instead, Inc., the franchisor of the Home Instead Senior Care® network. Her story and recipe, along with 49 others who garnered the top votes in the Homemade Memories Recipe Contest, are featured in the recently released Homemade Memories Cookbook (Nov. 4, 2011, $29.95). In total, more than 240 recipes were submitted.

As her prize, Lufkin will receive a $500 Visa gift card that she can use toward making new “homemade memories” with her senior loved ones.

“I remember the smell of the cast iron pan full of oil and lard – yes, lard – bubbling on my Mimi’s big, white enamel gas stove, awaiting the arrival of those clam-filled balls of savory, salty dough,” Lufkin wrote. “My dad or one of his friends would dig a whole mess of clams, we would have steamers for dinner and then my Mimi would make the most fantastic little fried clam fritters with homemade tartar sauce the next day. It was heaven.”

Lufkin is accustomed to sharing her passion with others. The small business owner, who has a screen printing, promotional products and embroidery business, spends much of her free time devoted to cooking and baking. She writes a food blog and hosts a local cable access show that features the talents of other area cooks.

Her grandmother, who inspired the clam cakes recipe, has passed away. But Lufkin keeps family traditions alive, cooking with her 10-year-old daughter and preparing meals with her mother. She is proud to showcase Essex. Her hometown of about 3,500 people is situated along the Essex River, whose banks produce the “steamer” clams that inspired the winning family recipe. “I love to feed people – it shows that you love and care for them, and want to share with them,” she explained.

“The Homemade Memories Cookbook is unique in that each recipe features a family story much like Lufkin’s,” said President and Chief Operating Officer Jeff Huber of Home Instead, Inc. “Companionship is such an important part of the dining experience for older adults. And these stories just enhance the experience.”

Other popular recipes included:

• Orange Chocolate Chip Bundt Cake, one of Jamie Jones’ first memories of her great-grandmother, who served it on Sunday afternoons after church.
• Lucy Orton’s Blueberry Pancakes, which helps her remember the wonderful breakfasts at her Aunt Janet’s house.
• Thomas Lanahan’s Albany “Hotstuff” Relish, a recipe handed down in his family since the 1800s.

The cookbook is available for the holiday gift-giving season. To order, go to www.mealsandcompanionship.com or https://www.facebook.com/CookingWithGrandma. Proceeds will go to the nonprofit Home Instead Senior Care Foundation to benefit U.S. and Canadian seniors. And to learn more about the value of companionship to older adults, go to www.mealsandcompanionship.com.

Home Care Boston providing elderly services in Cambridge, Boston, and Somerville. Call us at 617.557.4600.

FREE Home for the Holidays web conference

You’re excited to be going home for the holidays where Mom always has the house decked out and Dad makes his famous eggnog and tells stories about past celebrations. But your parents are getting older now. Maybe it’s time to tune into other things, like the signs they could need more help maintaining that big house. Or indicators they might benefit from grocery assistance.

That’s why you will want to register for the Home for the Holidays webinar. The webinar, moderated by a representative from the Home Instead Senior Care^® network, will help you recognize the warning signs that indicate your senior loved one might need additional help for things such as loss of appetite, unwanted weight fluctuations, spoiled food in the fridge or clutter.

The event is being hosted by the American Society on Aging (ASA), and co-sponsored by the National Family Caregivers Association (NFCA) and the National Alliance for Caregiving (NAC).

Register and learn more about the webinar that will be offered at two different times: Nov. 15 at 1 p.m. ET, or Dec. 5 at 8 p.m. ET. Senior care experts will be on hand to provide valuable information about the warning indicators that an older adult may need extra help and what you can do for support.

Whether you’re a long-distance caregiver or just live down the street, the holidays are a good time to assess the situation with Mom and Dad, and help them come up with a solution if necessary.

Remember, your local Home Instead Senior Care office is here to help when you have an aging-related issue or question, not just during the holidays but throughout the year. If you would like more information about Home for the Holidays, or have any comments or questions, please call us at 617.557.4600.

Home Care Boston providing elderly services in Cambridge, Boston, and Somerville. Call us at 617.557.4600.

Be a Santa to a Senior®, the popular campaign that has delivered 1.5 million gifts to needy seniors throughout North America during the past seven years, is gearing up again this holiday, according to the Home Instead Senior Care® network, the world’s largest provider of non-medical, in-home care services for seniors.

The program relaunches during a time when already-nervous seniors faced the threat of Social Security payment delays as part of the debt-ceiling debate earlier this year.

Local offices of the Home Instead Senior Care network, the world’s largest provider of non-medical in-home care and companionship services for older adults, have joined their area senior care organizations and retailers to provide gifts and companionship to seniors who otherwise might not receive either this holiday season.

In most years, seniors receive a small increase in their Social Security checks, intended to help them keep up with the costs of inflation. But since 2000, the Social Security Cost of Living Adjustment (COLA) has increased just 31 percent, while typical senior expenses have jumped 73 percent, according to the survey.

In 2011, for the second consecutive year, seniors received no COLA. Before 2010, however, seniors had received a COLA every year since 1975, when the automatic COLA was introduced. Seniors can expect to receive only a very small COLA next year, the TSCL reported.

Be a Santa to a Senior isn’t just about gifts, though. It is designed to give back to those needy seniors as well as to help stimulate human contact and social interaction for older adults who are unlikely to have guests during the holidays.

Here’s how the program works: Before the holiday season, the participating nonprofit organizations in local communities throughout North America will identify needy and isolated seniors in the community and provide those names to local Home Instead Senior Care offices for this community service program. Christmas trees will go up in stores that feature ornaments with the first names only of the seniors and their respective gift requests.

Holiday shoppers can pick up an ornament, buy items on the list and return them unwrapped to the store, along with the ornament attached. The local Home Instead Senior Care office then enlists the volunteer help of its staff, senior-care business associates, nonprofit workers and others to collect, wrap and distribute the gifts. A community gift-wrapping event, when hundreds of the presents will be wrapped, is held in many communities.

Businesses are encouraged to contact their local Home Instead Senior Care office about adopting groups of seniors. For tree locations in your local area, or for more information about the program, visit www.beasantatoasenior.com.

Home Care Boston providing elderly services in Cambridge, Boston, and Somerville. Call us at 617.557.4600.

Your Boston Home Instead Senior Care owner, David Wert, possesses a heartfelt desire to work with seniors in the Boston MA area. It’s the reason why David was chosen to serve seniors and their families. When you’re ready for help, our caring staff is on call to quickly answer your questions and accommodate your senior services needs. Call us at 617.557.4600.

Whether it’s your parents, a grandparent, aunt, uncle or a cherished friend you’re looking out for, we understand how the responsibility can wear on you … at work, at home and in your relationships with family and friends. Do you fear for your loved one’s safety, but hope to find a manageable way for them to remain in their home? Do you feel like you want to be there for them all the time but can’t manage? Maybe you’ve thought about a nursing home or assisted living facility? Or you might have even considered having your loved one move in with you. At Home Instead Senior Care we have the expertise to help you discuss these important matters with your family and the experience to help you make the right decision – wherever home may be.

Our CAREGivers are residents of the local area who are carefully screened, fully bonded and insured. Each takes part in our exclusive multi-phase training and we place a high priority on matching our CAREGivers with our clients to help develop a bond that will foster independence, promote well being and support the senior’s needs with respect and dignity.

Testimonial of a happy client in Boston: I want to thank you so much for your attention to detail and let you know how very much we appreciate the flexibility of your staff. Every caregiver you have sent our way has been especially wonderful, professional and most of all caring. We find the caregivers easy to work with and enjoy their company as much as my mom does. Elizabelth

Home Care Boston providing elderly services in Cambridge, Boston, and Somerville. Call us at 617.557.4600.

Home Instead Senior CAREGiver Carolyne tries to make every day a holiday for her clients. She takes them back in time to a day when they were surrounded by family and friends, sharing good stories and fantastic food.

She often sets their tables with fresh flowers and good dishes. Then she’ll whip up a gourmet meal of braised chicken breast with lemon butter or pecan-encrusted salmon. The table often features fresh produce from a local market.

“I think it’s the highlight of their day.  We have a lot of laughter – everything from news items to family stories,” she noted.  Occasionally, extended family drops by to share in the fun. Mealtimes often last nearly two hours.

In addition to preparing delicious meals and setting the stage for meaningful companionship, CAREGivers like Carolyne serve as a second set of eyes and ears for families who are concerned about a loved one. Holidays at home with Mom or Dad can highlight the areas where an older adult may need more assistance than they did last year.

If you’re headed home for the holidays, be sure to look for the warning signs that indicate your senior loved one might need additional help with issues such as loss of appetite, unwanted weight fluctuations, spoiled food in the fridge or clutter.

For tips on recognizing the signs, register for a free Home for the Holidays webinar – Nov. 15 at 1 p.m. ET, or Dec. 5 at 8 p.m. ET. Representatives from the Home Instead Senior Care^® network will be on hand to provide valuable information about the warning indicators that a senior may need extra help and what you can do to support them.

We strive to provide your loved one with a customized plan of care and appreciate the confidence you place in your local Home Instead Senior Care office. Thank you for trusting your loved one’s care to us. If you would like more information about Home for the Holidays, or have any comments or questions, please call me at 617.557.4600.

P.S.  Remember, your Home Instead CAREGiver can help with other holidays too, from answering the door for trick-or-treaters to making sure the good dishes are ready for Thanksgiving company.

Home Care Boston providing elderly services in Cambridge, Boston, and Somerville. Call us at 617.557.4600.