Last week, while visiting a Boston geriatric specialist, my 87 year old grandmother confronted a nurse who chose to treat her like a child when instead of giving her instructions directly; the nurse chose to speak only to the family member who escorted her. After the nurse delivered her final instruction, which was to “make sure she keeps her shoes off” my grandmother turned directly to the nurse and said “You know, I may be old, but I’m not stupid; you can speak to me.”

While it may seem unfathomable to treat an adult like an incompetent child, less drastic examples that parallel senior care to child care are used everyday, right or wrong. Some eldercare experts refer to “parenting the parents” when speaking of family caregivers; while terms like “adult daycare” resurrect images of young children, who lack independence, playing with blocks.

Family caregivers providing care to a Boston aging parent or elderly relative do need to adapt to changing roles in their family structure, but need to remember they are there to help and guide the seniors in their care; not represent a figure of authority. Naturally, the amount of influence a caregiver might have upon a senior varies with an older adult’s capability of making their own decisions and living independently; and overtime the amount of care needed can change as seniors become more reliant upon their caregivers to live their lives. As a caregiver, it’s important to accept a senior’s opinions and values, and remember to treat them with the dignity and respect they have earned during their lives.

Sources:
1.    Associated Content
2.    Eldercare ABC Blog

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